Introduction: What You’ll Learn
Tension can bubble up in any team — whether it's a missed expectation, miscommunication, or a slow-building frustration. This simulation helps you practice facilitating a retro when emotions surface, without letting things derail.
You’ll practice:
- Recognizing when tension needs to be addressed vs. deferred
- Staying neutral and steady when emotions run high
- Creating space for clarity without turning the retro into a conflict session
- Encouraging constructive language and mutual understanding
Step-by-Step Simulation
(You notice subtle tension as the retro begins — guarded body language, short replies. A past incident involving a code review might be lingering. You decide to stay neutral, listen closely, and guide without escalating.)
Scene 1: The First Hint
Facilitator: "Thanks for adding your thoughts. Let’s start with the ‘Stop’ column — I see a note about 'last-minute code reviews.' Want to speak to that?"
Sara: "Yeah, I just felt like we got dumped on near the end again. We keep saying we’ll space things out better, but it’s not happening."
(Awkward pause. Alex shifts uncomfortably.)
Alex: "I got pulled into meetings — I wasn't trying to delay anything."
Facilitator: "Thanks both — sounds like some tension there. Let’s slow down and make sure we understand each other. Sara, is it about timing, communication, or something else?"
Sara: "A bit of both. Just feels like we’re not coordinating well — not blaming, just noticing."
Scene 2: Defusing and Refocusing
Facilitator: "Appreciate how you both shared that. We don’t need to solve the whole issue now — but what would better coordination look like next sprint?"
Alex: "Maybe we put a mid-sprint review reminder on the calendar — I can commit to blocking that off."
Sara: "Yeah, and maybe surface big tickets earlier during planning."
Facilitator: "Sounds like a good starting point. Would that help reduce this kind of crunch going forward?"
(Both nod. Energy starts to settle.)
Facilitator: "Would anyone else like to add anything here — maybe from a different perspective?"
Leo: "I’ve noticed it’s not always clear when something’s ‘ready’ for review. Maybe we define a 'review-ready' label or checklist too — what do folks think about that?"
Facilitator: "Interesting — could be a helpful shared standard. Let’s try it out lightly and see what the team thinks after a sprint or two."
Scene 3: Re-centering the Group
(You feel the group energy starting to settle — time to broaden the lens and give space for neutral voices.)
Facilitator: "Let’s come back to the bigger picture for a moment — anything else in this sprint worth calling out? Wins, close calls, or other lessons?"
(Leo shares a success. Priya reflects on smoother QA handoffs. Conversation shifts back to balance.)
Facilitator: "Nice — anything else we’d want to carry forward from how we handled the rest of the sprint?"
Alex: "Yeah — communication in the incident channel was smoother this time. Felt like everyone stayed constructive."
Facilitator: "Love it — thanks for helping us zoom out a bit."
Scene 4: Wrapping Up
Facilitator: "Thanks for hanging with some tough moments today — that’s where trust grows. Let’s capture what we’re taking forward:"
- Mid-sprint code review reminder on calendar
- Call out large tickets earlier in sprint planning
- Check-in on review timing at next retro
Facilitator: "Anyone want to own a follow-up or reminder on these?"
(Alex adds the calendar reminder. Sara updates sprint planning checklist. Facilitator will note the retro check-in.)
Facilitator: "Appreciate the openness — and how we kept things respectful. We’ll check back on the review flow next retro and see how the new rhythm is landing. That’s how teams grow."
Mini Roleplay Challenges
Challenge 1: One person makes a passive-aggressive comment.
- Best Response: “Let’s focus on the behavior or pattern — not the person.”
Challenge 2: The other teammate reacts defensively.
- Best Response: “Let’s pause — can we check what we’re hearing before we respond?”
Challenge 3: You’re not sure if the tension is new or old.
- Best Response: “Is this a one-off, or something we’ve seen before? That helps us respond better.”
Optional Curveball Mode
- Tension continues after the retro
- One teammate goes silent after being called out
- The facilitator has a personal relationship with one of the teammates
Reflection Checklist
Facilitation
- Did I remain calm and neutral?
- Did I hold space without escalating?
Team Dynamics
- Did both voices feel heard?
- Did we co-create a forward step?
Safety & Repair
- Did we maintain trust?
- Did we model disagreement handled with care?
Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Letting things slide to avoid discomfort
- Taking sides or “rescuing” someone
- Jumping to solutions before understanding
- Ending the retro without clear next steps