1:1 with a Disengaged or Demotivated Teammate

One-on-OnesMid5–10 min

Introduction: What You’ll Learn

This simulation focuses on holding space for someone who might be going through a rough patch. You’ll practice being present, noticing signals, and asking open questions — without pushing too hard.

You’ll practice:

  • Spotting subtle signs of disengagement
  • Asking supportive, non-judgmental questions
  • Balancing care with clarity on expectations
  • Finding small ways to reconnect them with their work, without pressure

Step-by-Step Simulation

Scene 1: Opening Gently

You (Manager):
"Hey, how’s your week going so far?"

Teammate (Jordan):
"It’s... okay, I guess. Just kind of been in my own head lately."

You:
"Totally get that. I’ve noticed you’ve been a bit quieter than usual in standups and chats. Just wanted to check in — anything on your mind?"

You (continued):
"If there's anything in the team's dynamic that feels off, or anything making it harder to engage — feel free to bring it up. I'm always open to feedback."


Scene 2: Listening Without Jumping to Solutions

Jordan:
"Yeah, I don’t know... I’ve just been feeling kind of stuck. Like, not sure if what I’m doing really matters right now."

You:
"Thanks for being honest — that’s not easy to say. Want to tell me more about where that’s coming from?"

Jordan:
"I guess I haven’t been that excited about the projects lately. And I feel like my ideas aren’t really landing when I share them."

You:
"That’s tough. It matters to me that you feel like your work has meaning and that your voice is heard. Do you feel like that’s a recent thing or has it been building for a while?"


Scene 3: Rebuilding Momentum Together

Jordan:
"I think it’s been building... I don’t know. Maybe I just need a break."

You:
"That’s completely valid. We all go through slumps. If it helps, we can look at ways to switch things up — maybe a different project, some pairing time, or even just a mental health day to reset."

You (continued):
"And longer-term, maybe we can revisit what kinds of work you want more of. Design work? Architecture? Something else?"

Jordan:
"I think just feeling more ownership would help. Right now it kind of feels like I’m just knocking out tasks."

You:
"Got it. Let’s come up with a small plan — maybe one area you can take the lead on, and I’ll make sure others see your impact. And if anything ever feels off again, just bring it to our 1:1 — no pressure."

You (continued):
"Also — let’s check in on this again next week. Even if it’s just a short follow-up, I want to make sure you feel supported going forward."


Mini Roleplay Challenges

Challenge 1:
Jordan keeps saying “it’s fine” and won’t open up.

  • Best Response:
    “Totally okay if you’re not ready to talk — just know I’m here whenever you want to.”

Challenge 2:
Jordan says they might be thinking about leaving.

  • Best Response:
    “Thanks for being real with me. I care about your experience here, whatever you decide. Want to talk about what’s missing?”

Challenge 3:
You try to solve it too quickly and they shut down.

  • Best Response:
    Slow down. “You don’t need to have all the answers right now — just talking about it is a good start.”

Optional Curveball Mode

  • Jordan says they feel invisible in team meetings.
  • They’re dealing with personal issues outside work but don’t want to get into it.
  • They hint at burnout but insist they’re “fine.”

Reflection Checklist

Supportive Presence

  • Did I hold space for them to talk freely?
  • Did I avoid interrupting or jumping to fixes?

Signals and Clarity

  • Did I ask about root causes — not just surface issues?
  • Did I clarify that they’re not alone in feeling this way?

Moving Forward

  • Did we co-create a small next step?
  • Did I offer help without pressure or assumptions?
  • Did I set a clear follow-up to show continued support?

Common Mistakes to Avoid

  • Rushing to fix instead of listening
  • Minimizing their concerns (“Everyone feels that way sometimes”)
  • Treating it like a performance issue too early
  • Skipping the follow-up in future 1:1s